And She Was Gone....

We sat right there in the garden, making small talks and each wondering if things would have been different if we stayed in the same town and went to the same university, and we were both so unsure. It had been over ten years since we last saw, and as we tried to catch up, somewhere inside we both knew that as we took each other’s BBpin, we wouldn’t be chatting or keeping in touch, there was barely anything to talk about anymore.

That was me and one of my closest friends from way back when, we both happened to be in Benin over the Christmas break to see our folks and thought we could play catch up, but it wasn’t exactly working. We had awkward silence in between, the "REALLY!"....."YES I BUMPED INTO HER A FEW TIMES"….."OMG! SHE IS SO FAT NOW"…."SHE HAS 2 KIDS" yadayada. Allsmall talks about the girls we went to secondary school with, there just seemed to be nothing else to say. I know it happens, but I felt so bad, because I was wishing we didn’t have this silly lunch date, and then the last picture in my head would still be us, all young and innocent, with so much fire for the future. Now as I look at her, looking all dolled up, with a weird british/ american/french accent and tales from so many places she has visited, I was a bit overwhelmed but not impressed. She had always been more worldly wise than I, but there was certain coldness in her eyes, the look of one who has been there, done that… that scared me and I knew we could never be friends again.
I am quite certain that so many of you have had similar experiences , friends you have lost touch with and you try so hard to take it back to where it used to be, sometimes it just isn’t worth it..You just have to know when to fold up and walk away.
I miss the kids we were back then, a distant memory right now…..I bet she was probably thinking same thing about me , she was probably wondering how we were ever friends in the first place, and how far apart in personality life has taken us.
As I walked her to the car, all I could see was me waving good bye to the children we once were, and it kinda hurt the child in me, the childhood memories I had of us just seemed to have been erased by our lunch date. I wonder who suggested we meet for lunch at my place, I guess it must have been me.