It s actually been 15 years since we last saw! Time flies bro.
I woke up at 5am this morning and recalled our last time, you were lying down on the bed, paralysed by the effects of Cerebral Malaria.
No! that was the last time you saw me, because the last time I saw you, you were already dead and Helda ,your small mummy like daddy used to call her was crying over you.
I had woken up that morning like any other, I took daddy’s daily devotional by Fred Bauer, Daily Living…Daily Giving and as I read, I was caught by the thought for the day at the bottom of the day’s reading “If you have anyone who is ill, ask God to grant them RELIEF”
RELIEF! Sounded like a good deal to me, as you had been paralysed for a couple of years now, you had bed sores from lying down constantly, your big, beautiful eyes still filled with emotions, but we never knew what you were thinking************.
We had always prayed for HEALING but it never came, so that morning 10/8/1996 I prayed differently, I asked God for RELIEF and He granted it, He took you away from us that night so you could rest and be at peace.
Little bro, I never told you this before now, but when you died I didn’t cry immediately. I saw mummy crying, everyone was actually, and you know me always trying to be strong for others, so I guess everyone thought that was why my eyes were red and I couldn’t let the tears flow, but that wasn’t it….i felt guilty, cos i felt like I KILLED YOU!
Sound ridiculous I know, but I felt I shouldn’t have prayed that way. I realised that as much as trying to get treatment for you had left us broke, as tense as things were at home because we all couldn’t be genuinely happy while you went through all what you did, we all loved you and still wanted to keep hoping you would get better.
But I know better now, I know I loved you enough to want you to rest, we all needed to stop hurting************
I loved you then, I love you now and will love you for always. We never talk about you much, cos everyone goes misty eyed when talks of you come up, we do not even have pictures of you, Its almost like you never existed to those who never met you, but we know you did darling, and we remember you each time we feel that painful tug in our hearts, and believe me that happens a lot!
Well to happier tales, Helda is married and Lives in England, she has a baby and that means you are an Uncle in heaven! And guess what? Obehi who was only a year old when you died is getting ready to go to the University! Time flies abi?
We will all have a grand re union in heaven bro, only the best food and wine for that party and what better chairperson than our Lord Jesus Himself! By the way, since you get to see Him all the time, do tell Lord Jesus, that I am sorry for all the times I have been bad, and I will try to be a better person, don’t want anything messing up our date through eternity now do I?
ps: ********** means I had to pause and cry, and for the records,I wrote this as soon as I woke up, because I woke up with thoughts of you!
I love you for always
Your big sister,
For AB, Oct 8 1988-Aug 10 1996, I pray my last memory of you stays the sweet picture of you in our neighbor's garden, not you bedridden.